I confess

I have been pretty much an irritated annoying person for quite some time now, with everyone actually... my very recent episodes are especially when my sister comes home...I’m behind her life saying do this.., do that.., why did put your clothes there??!!, switch off the lights when you are out of the room!!, finish your work first and then watch TV and blah blah blah… doing this every day or I must say every second I finally made her shed tears..My heart sank…I really hate to see her cry, I can’t do the Consoling, I’m horrible at it...People who have known me for quite some time probably must have realized that and I hate that part of me….

And then I’m Guilt Struck for what I did…AGAIN… I hate the Guilt Feeling when I do something wrong, I know I have done a mistake and then when it comes to accepting it, I take soo long…there is a lot of thinking, planning and “gut” gathering, yes!! Guts to come out of the ego clashes and at times to come out of the after effect fear… and during all this it take a lot of trouble to put up a nice smile on my face...Sure, it’s the guilt effect….

Hmmm!!!...I hate it but I still do it, accepting my mistake of course. No matter what the after effect turns out to be, but the guilt free feeling, I feel is the best feeling at that point of time. And I love that…!!!

In fact the cause to all the mishap is usually the “I think I’m right” thought and trying to tell people what to do and wanting them to do it in my way…I don’t know if this is some kind of phobia, whateva it is right now I just wanna convince myself by sayings its normal with a lot of people ….Because…

…I’m so used to telling people what to do and what not to do (I’m very good at it, not proud of it thoughJK)… Sometimes I wish I could zip my lips BUT!! you know I already feel I do selective talking, so it’s alright to say what has to be told ( of course in a polite and a nice way)….There are times when I see the “why does she act like she is the perfect one??” look on peoples face..Believe me, it doesn’t even bother me one bit, but it does bothers me quite a lot when the same dialogue is narrated and that’s when I begin my journey to be a perfectionist which ends before I realize it started. Dissapointment!!!!!......

Any way’s that’s not the point now. What matters to me is I have made my point by saying what I had to say, at least that won’t keep bothering me again…

What I’m Proud of is, with all the fuss I make, I still accept my mistake and make sure I don’t do it again, though my ego hurts.

 Sure I love me for thatJJJJ

Confess!!!!

Lavasa: Team time:-):-)

A year back I was listening to radio and hear about a music concert being organized in LAVASA...I really dint know such a place existed and if so where was it!!??!!…I Google and know it’s close to Pune and all about the place…How excited I was about it you know,...In fact ,have been persuading my friends for a lavasa trip right from that day, it never happened. My friends left Pune and I almost gave up hope of visiting this place until a few days back I get this mail from my boss saying he is flying down to India to visit the team and we will have a team night out at Lavasa….

I wasn’t really glad to hear about the whole idea of a team outing to lavasa cuz I already had this mindset of going there only with friends and moreover it was my mood swings playing its game…but I had no choice you see; a new boss,first night out with the team and adding to that was we have had surprise waiting for us at lavasa (the whole planned program was a surprise for the team)  I had to go...Sometimes the “no choice” helpsJ…

The road to lavasa reminded me of the otty- kodaikanal roads, the hair pin curves and the steep roads up to the hill...We reach a adventure club and start off with our sessions…Right from the time we reached, there has been so many little surprises which put up a smile on our facesJJ...(Thank god for thatJJ)

The whole idea of a night out felt amazing when I started experiencing it… Everything was different and interesting right from introducing each other to sleeping in tents.., I played games which I had never heard of before, went rappelling (I‘ve always wanted to do that), zip line and so many other team activities which I had never done all my life...The best part was the fun we had and the fact that we were never boredJJJ…To add to it was the cool breezy night which made things better for us.

And for once spending time under the hot sun dint really matter to me JJ,Of course I’m back with a tan, but it’s really not bothering me…The fun, the learning and the whole experience was absolutely remarkable…

Few Things have changed after the lavasa time and the change makes me feel so much better and relieved I want to sayJJJ

The “no Choice” option definitely helpedJJJJJJJJJ….

A few pics



thats mee rappling:)

 

the tents



the rappling place

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It’s a girl thing…

I’m sure there are like hundreds of things we can put into the list of “it’s a girl thing”. But for me right now what tops in the list is SHOPPING…Oh yeah! we all know that, we smile when we hear about that ,we love doing that ,we are ever ready to do that…, somehow most of the girls (most I mean 9.9 out of 10)are bit by this ‘shopping bug’ and eventually we are all shopaholics.

Of course we worry about our soaring bank balance and our over flowing wardrobes but the truth is we realize it only when we see our bills and when we have to make place in our wardrobe to put in the newly shopped stuff.

And that’s when we swear we are not shopping until a few months as we have enough and more… but again that’s only till we pass by our favorite store or till we see a very well dressed mannequin or a dolled up friend with amazing stuffs on (be it anything from clothes to accessories) or probably see a new sale come up or just another function popping up as a reason to shop or the most famous killer perception we girls have” I have no clothes at all / all I have is old stuff”… And all these or at least one of these happens every second day.

We have clothes for every occasion in fact we have three main categories of clothes, shoes and accessories: Formal, Casual and Party Wear. All the three Categories have the below kinds of clothes which also needs shoe and accessories to go with it:

ü Salwar Kameez,

ü Trousers

ü Shirts

ü Tops

ü Skirts

ü Dresses

ü Tunics

ü Sarees

ü Shorts

ü Lingerie’s

(all of them have its 3 categories tooJJJ)

     Did I miss anything???…I might have, we have all the possible varieties in the world...The sad part; we wish to own all of them...

Then of course like I said there are shoes (again there are varieties: flats, sneakers, pumps, stilettos, peep toes, bellies, …) to go with the clothes, a handbag, a wallets/ a clutch is a must and of course accessories to match at least with a few clothes. Oops!!...I missed the Cosmetics, If not too much, eyeliner/kajal and a lip-gloss is a must most of the time...ooofff!!!

Oh yes!!How can I forget??!!...We do buy stuffs even for reasons like ,“ooo it’s soo pretty maybe I can wear it sometime”

”Seriously!!...It only costs so much, it s so dam cheap, I think I should buy it”.

”Hey, I can wear it with the shoe I bought recently”.

“I may not get it anywhere else, let me buy it”, and that’s how we have a bundle of  unused Stuff in our wardrobe ”just waiting for the occasion”. And the so called moment to wear them is “god knows when”.

Hmmm!!!...I feel like cribbing more…How much I love to buy new stuff and how much my heart aches to see the bills.

Sometimes I feel the “shopping mania” is a curse or maybe just a physiological problem (I hate to say this though)...

But I feel lucky too…True…lucky we are for sure, for having all the options and varieties in the world and all the colorful stuffs we get to use…I love that part..I would love it even more if it dint effect my bank balance:-p….

Sometimes I wanna say I’m greedy, but I would prefer saying  ”IT’S A GIRL THING”JJJJ